What can Queen Elizabeth expect when President Sarkozy and his new wife visit this month? Charles Bremner of The Times imagines how she would be briefed by her Paris ambassador. Here are two parts, preparing the Queen for possible language problems:
Unlike M Sarkozy, who speaks only a few words of English and is not familiar with our customs, Madame Sarkozy is fluent in both. The 40-year-old First Lady has an intimate understanding of our ways from past close friendships with some of your more famous subjects. These include Sir Mick Jagger of the “Rolling Stones” group and Mr Eric Clapton, a guitarist-singer. We understand from Mr Clapton’s recent memoirs that his friendship with Sir Mick, who was married at the time to Miss Jerry Hall, suffered from their competition for the favours of the young Signorina Bruni.
For the purposes of entertaining M Sarkozy at Windsor Castle, your majesty will have to employ her excellent French. She should know that the President dislikes ceremony and cultivates a manly directness, employing familiar language with his interlocutors. He does not kiss ladies’ hands like M Chirac, but do not be surprised if he lapses into a familiar “tu”. His habit of making physical contact has led to misunderstandings with Frau Merkel, the German Chancellor.
How low can you stoop ? Gutter journalism is becoming “bidet” journalism.
Reminding Carla of her previous lovers is something you wouldn’t dare to do to any other woman, for fear of being called a cad.
And I certainly prefer Sarkozy’s SMS to Charles message to Camilla :” i vould like to be your Tampax..”
The mandarins of politics, whether on the Seine or the Thames, have hardly reflected the personalities, attitudes or behaviours of those who have truly influenced society since the sixties. Sir Mick and Sir Bob and indeed Nick Le Prez are recognizable as absolutely contemporary figures, rather than replicants of the politically correct idols of an earlier age.
As for our Queen… I think she’ll find Sarko quite fun, although she won’t let on!
How can you avoid reminding Carla of her previous lovers? I’m sure half the men at the party will qualify.