The Crazy Horse nightclub in Paris is starting the winter season with a new show, and according to people who know about these things, it’s more spectacular than ever.

French Gala magazine took a look behind the scenes. I picked two of their photos. Find the rest (warning: nipples!) here.

If you’re female and fancy a job at the Crazy Horse, make sure you meet the criteria, which have remained unchanged since 1951. You must be between 1.66 and 1.72 meters tall, with legs that are twice as long as the distance between your bust and the top of your legs. Your nipples must be 27 cm apart and there must be 13 centimeters between your navel and pubis. You will be weighed once a week, and if you put on more than two pounds you’re out of the job.

If you’re male I must disappoint you: there are no vacancies in the measuring department.